Spider-man Noir’s timeline takes place in 1933. I don’t believe his age is stated in the movie (though I may be wrong), but Aunt May and Uncle Benjamin can be assumed to be in their 40′s-50′s since they’re usually starting to grey by the time we see Peter. This means that they would be young adults in the 1910′s and surrounding years. Why is this important?
Because the song “I’m A Member of The Midnight Crew” by Eddie Morton came out in 1909.
Imagine Spider-man Noir showing Miles some of the songs that his aunt and uncle used to play when he was a kid, songs that they’d dance to just as wildly as when they were a young couple fresh in love until they’d worn holes in their shoes—and with almost no fanfare, he puts this record on.
And Miles Morales, a teenage artist in the year of our lord 2018 who has definitely read Homestuck at some point in his life, will have a choice to make.
A cool aesthetic, but also a damn fucking easy way to fall down some stairs
I mean… how did they get there? Was the factory abandoned after a button explosion? Did disgruntled former employees just hurl buttons around on their way out after being made redundant? Or was the factory abandoned after their fifth fatal staircase fall in a month because this is just how they kept the buttons?
With no one to monitor or regulate the buttons they bred and multiplied, just as they would in the wild.
Fun fact my grandpa was in the Air Force but only because he cheated his way in
So he did a great job with everything all along the way, until he hit got to his marksmanship test.
Now, my grandpa is a great shot. The catch is, he’s left-handed. And the people administering the test did not like that and insisted he shoot righty.
Naturally, he sucked at it. But he had a few tricks up his sleeve. And by tricks, I do mean a pencil.
When my grandpa went up to retrieve his target, the man pulled out a pencil, stabbed a bunch of holes in the center, and called it a day.
The grift worked, he passed with flying colors, and he began a 30+ year career as an Air Force engineer, helping design the B-2 Bomber, and being a general badass.
Also, he’s led me to believe he knows information about aliens, and the man would never joke about something like that.
People are asking about the alien thing. All I know is that my grandpa had access to confidential information and absolutely no sense of humor. He has learned classified secrets and he would never pull a prank. When my mom and her sisters were kids, they once joked about if aliens are real, and he stopped them in their tracks to sternly tell them that they never, ever, ever are to joke about that again.
“kids these days are so cringey w their fortnite dances-” are none of yall going to acknowledge the shit we did. are we not going to acknowledge gangnam style. what does the fox say. if we go older hamster dance. crazy frog. the fucking duck song. the llama song. charlie the unicorn.
let he who is without sin throw the first stone
Dont act like we didnt do a carameldansen or hare hare yukai
business majors will do coke off your ass on saturday night and then pretend they don’t know you in your econ lecture on monday morning
fuck with a psych major then
psych majors will do lsd with you and tell you that they’ve never felt as connected to anyone as they do to you in that moment and then as soon as their trip ends they will spend the rest of your relationship disappointed because they know they’ll never feel as strongly about you sober as they did while on acid and when you take notice of that and comment that they seem to be growing distant they will psychoanalyze you and claim that you just think that because you have abandonment issues stemming from early childhood trauma
fuck with an art major then
art majors will nut on your back and hand you their paint rag to wipe it off with and then when you don’t return their calls the next day they’ll make a painting entitled Succubus. 2015 (oil and tears on canvas, 36" x 48")
Fuck with a film major
film majors will invite you over to “watch a movie and chill” and you’ll assume he means watch the first five minutes of something on netflix before getting distracted and banging but no. he has a french new wave film set up for the two of you to actually watch and you don’t understand french but he refuses to put on subtitles because he feels it undermines the artistic integrity of the work. when the movie is over he’ll undress you but not to have sex, just to “admire” your body. also he inexplicably smells like cigarettes even though he doesn’t smoke
i am so sorry for your unfortunate mishaps with multiple major fields
